Tips for managing anger when you’re a parent include slowly breathing, walking away if it is safe, and speaking with a therapist. Resources such as anger management classes can also be helpful.
Uncontrolled anger can manifest differently in each person. For some individuals, it can involve loud outbursts and physical displays. For others, it may involve seething or dwelling on events that made them mad.
When stress levels are higher, it can be more difficult for parents to control their anger, even over minor things that go wrong.
This article will help you better understand why anger is an important emotion to manage effectively and what you can do if you are experiencing it.
Keep reading for some first-hand tips and tricks to help manage anger and teach your children to manage their own heightened emotions.
If you often experience feelings of anger, it can be helpful to identify when your anger is most frequently triggered. This can help you develop a long-term plan to reduce feelings of anger.
The following tips may also help in the moment:
- Ensure everyone is safe, then step away from the situation.
- Focus on slowing your breathing or silently counting to 10.
- Implementing a code word to let others know how you’re feeling without needing to speak too much.
- Shift your attention to your surroundings by identifying or counting objects around you.
- Hold a grounding object in your hand to help you through the anger, ideally a small object that you can carry around with you.
- Focus on relaxing each part of the body.
You may also wish to speak with a therapist about your anger. Studies have suggested that approximately 75% of people receiving anger management therapy improved as a result.
Other longer-term strategies that may help include:
- getting enough regular physical activity or exercise
- expressing feelings through art, writing, or other creative activities
- speaking with a friend, family member, or other trusted person
- spending time outdoors and with nature
- getting enough quality sleep
- avoiding alcohol
A 2022 study has shown that group-based anger management programs can be effective for parents. Mothers in the anger management program reported an improvement in their attitude and parenting that was sustained even after the program ended.
Group therapy may be useful for parents in combating isolation and providing additional support networks. Some individuals may wish to use it in combination with individual therapy to gain the unique benefits both types of therapy offer.
Many resources are available to help you manage anger.
A variety of online and in-person anger management classes are available for adults. If you need certification of completion, you may wish to consider an online class such as the one offered by Open Path. For educators, Yale University offers a free online course.
Individual counseling is often available both locally and virtually through companies such as BetterHelp. If you are unsure where to start, your doctor may be able to provide you with a referral to a therapist they trust.
If your feelings of anger are triggered by issues with your partner, you may wish to find a local marriage and family therapist to work through any challenges as a couple.
There are also books and workbooks for parents that discuss anger management techniques. Speak with your doctor or a therapist for recommendations.
Children can also experience feelings of anger. It’s essential for parents to help their children learn how to effectively manage and process these feelings.
If your child or teenager is experiencing feelings of anger, you can help them by:
- offering them a safe way to physically work through emotions, such as by going on a bike ride or run
- teaching them artistic ways to express their feelings, such as journaling or painting.
- modeling appropriate anger management yourself
- avoiding violent media
- helping them identify their triggers
- seeking out therapists and support groups as appropriate
- praising even small efforts to handle anger in appropriate ways
Excessive expressions of anger can lead to long-term physical and psychosocial damage. It can even change the way the child’s brain processes information.
Instead of helping correct behavior, yelling and anger can often
Children who witness yelling and anger may develop a pattern of mistrust and problems with social relationships. The stress of experiencing it can also lead to long-term health problems, such as headaches and stomach problems.
Feelings of anger are common. However, it’s essential to manage how these feelings are expressed. Excessive displays of anger by parents can have long-term physical and psychological effects on children and other household members.
There are many different techniques to manage anger as a parent, such as breathing slowly, focusing on relaxing each part of the body, and walking away when it is safe to do so. Talking with a therapist and accessing other resources may also help.
A therapist can work with you to identify triggers and help put a plan in place.